Autonomy Can Be Designed - Latchkey Kids 3
Autonomy doesn’t appear overnight. It is built every time we allow someone to do for themselves what they are already ready to try. Parents, teachers, and leaders are not there to solve every problem. They are there to create the conditions where people develop capability. Because helping also means knowing when to take one step back.
DEVELOPING PEOPLE
Latchkey Kids 3
Autonomy Can Be Designed
In the first two parts of this series, I reflected on the generation often known as the latchkey kids.
Not because they were better.
Not because we should try to recreate their childhood.
But because their experience illustrates an important principle that remains surprisingly relevant today.
The lesson was never about children being left alone.
It was about developing capability.
Today, our world looks very different.
Parents can reach their children instantly.
Food can be delivered in minutes.
Navigation apps tell us where to go.
Artificial intelligence answers questions in seconds.
Technology has made life easier in countless ways.
That is something worth appreciating.
But there is also an unintended consequence.
The easier it becomes to solve problems for others, the fewer opportunities they may have to solve them for themselves.
Autonomy is not something that suddenly appears when someone reaches adulthood.
It develops one ordinary experience at a time.
Every time someone prepares a meal for the first time.
Makes an important phone call.
Plans a trip.
Handles a difficult conversation.
Or even learns how to sweep the floor.
Nobody is born knowing how to do any of these things.
And nobody learns while someone else keeps taking the broom away because “it’s faster if I do it.”
This idea reflects a principle known as subsidiarity:
Do not do for others what they are already capable of doing for themselves.
Not because helping is wrong.
But because helping can unintentionally delay growth when it removes every opportunity to practice.
The same principle applies far beyond the family.
A teacher who answers every question.
A manager who makes every decision.
A coach who gives every solution.
All may achieve short-term efficiency.
Yet none of them develops capability.
Developing people requires something more difficult.
It requires allowing them to try.
To struggle a little.
To make small mistakes.
To improve.
Perhaps that is the real lesson the latchkey kids leave us.
Not that children should be left alone.
But that autonomy can be intentionally designed.
At home.
In schools.
In organizations.
Because the purpose of a good system is not to make people dependent on those who know more.
It is to help them become increasingly capable of thinking, deciding, and acting for themselves.
That is how autonomy grows.
Not by accident.
But by design.